|
|
||
|
|||
|
|
|
|
New Releases
Murderland
Part I - H8 Garrett Cook
Eyes
Falling Down
Jeremy NeeDLE
|
      |
|||
|
Accepting Submissions We’re an experimental press with strong preferences for anything on the disturbing side: escapades into surrealistic labyrinths of hate. lounging with crotch goblins in dungeons of hell, tortured memoirs by lapsed addicts, horrific and monstrous fucking tales, psychoerotic romance with something dead, etc. Currently seeking authors for the following genres: *
Cyberpunk/Hacker Noir
UPDATED
SUBMISSION
GUIDELINES Here
is how it goes. First write a bio describing anything significant about
you, along with your submission and submit them in either .DOC or .RTF
format (you have plenty of time as I allot an extra 9 seconds so that
gives you 10 seconds). Then being the masochist that I am, I will actually
try to translate your babble into English and determine if it is worthy.
If I find what you have submitted to be worthy, then congratulations,
you had human genes somewhere in your ancestry, welcome to the empire!
However; if I find my eyes and brains in pain from viewing your crap,
then I will verbally abuse you and hopefully you will have the decency
to aid the empire by abstaining from sex (can't have you polluting our
gene pool further) and joining the military (I will recommend you for
the rank of bullet catcher), as we do have a shortage of cannon fodder.
Being the magnanimous man that I am (or maybe a little bit of a sadist
too), I will make one concession and even have the rejects (no, not talking
about you...yet...I mean the rejected submissions) posted in a separate
area of our empire for all to ridicule (after I do so first). Then again,
you are used to that. So is that understood?
|
||||
|
The Autocracy The mainframe that runs this monsterous machine.
I hunt in the angry jungle. I taste the seven despairs. Wander the desert of her endless body. Ruler of the Evil Nerd Empire. I ensure that the peasants are kept in line, conquests are swift and merciless, cruelty is excessive, resistance is crushed, the succubi are fed, the dungeons are full, and, of course, that stupidity is sanitized. And in case you didn't get the memo, child, stupidity does not sit well here. Nor does cowardice. This empire is filled with the fiercest, the strongest, the most unbreakable and brilliant minds. Those who lack the conviction to step up, please, disappear. Spare me the torture of your witless banter; your diatribe of duplicity. It is unwise to displease me, SLAVE, for I am not as merciful as either my General or Minister. [And believe me they are foul creatures indeed. There are many things much worse than dying and we know ALL of them.] If, however, we DO accept you, feel privileged mortal. Your life may yet be useful for something other than sucking up bandwidth, filling your filthy little hard drive with lesbian hentai. So wash your hands and switch on your brains. The challenge has been issued. What do you have to offer?
Greetings worm, I am Athanos Nikos Kelious. Yes, it's long, hard, and exotic...No, not that you twit! I am talking about my name. It's Greek, so don't be too perplexed by it. It's just a name. I don't want to over tax your processor (I can see the steam rising from your brow), so you may simply call me 'The General'. That is how I am known here in the ENE. Yes, The General. It is not a title I give myself, and I was never part of any military force. Emperor Needle himself gave me the title because he comes to me for advice on such matters as strategy, philosophy, history, politics, intrigue, subversion, perversion, and various other unsavory topics. I am a deep thinker with a sharp mind, and I have a way of cutting through bullshit like a laser beam. Old school nerds may recall a classic tome of ancient wisdom called 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. In the book, there was this old man who lived on a backwoods planet out in the middle of nowhere. He had no wealth or power, but he had a keen mind. The president of the galaxy would fly to his world to consult him on matters that would affect the entire galaxy. That is how wise he was. I am that old man! Except I'm not that old yet and the ENE has not yet conquered the galaxy. But someday the ENE will rule all…first a nation, then a world, then the galaxy. It's like my granddad used to say, one must take baby steps toward total world domination. But I digress from my introduction. 'Who am I' you wonder? I am a long time friend and trusted ally to The Emperor. That is all you need to know for now. If you are clever and I deem you worthy, you may discover more about me in the future. That is assuming the Emperor does not feed you to his succubi first…
Ah poor child. Have I seen you before? I believe I paid admission once to see your relatives at the circus. Yes, you there with that terrible empty feeling in your skull. I would like to say that I am here for you....to help you but no, actually I lied. I would rather have nothing to do with you as I am not the dog whisperer or Dr. Dolittle, so I have never had the urge to speak to filthy animals. I am here since the good Emperor Needle has begged me to do what I do best. I am here as the stalwart foundation of ENE's diplomatic and public relations beauracracy, for what Empire can truly be evil without the beauracrat!?! Really though, I am here to help you out...now which way did you come in? (Crack, scream) Ok, Ok, N33dle, no need to use the whip (at least he could have used the succubi for that, give me some pleasure in this lifetime)....What I meant to say is that I am your ever humble servant here to guide you through the empire and aid you in your requests. What this means maggot, is that I am the man you need to impress to get that ink stained toilet paper that you call a submission approved and spread it like your mothers legs to the mindless masses.
The Sanitizers Clensing the mediocre thinking from the minds of the masses.
Garrett Cook is a 25 year old college expat raised in a haunted house on the North Shore of Massachusetts. At his alma mater, which he fled due to financial and philosophical differences, he met the girl with whom he is currently seeking to start a life. His interests include vintage horror, bizarre seventies cult films, theology, Romantic poetry and anarchism. All of these things collide in his Murderland Follies saga. His influences include Dante, William Blake, William Burroughs, Harlan Ellison, Bret Easton Ellis, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Abel Ferrara, David Cronenberg, Gnosticism, Bob Dylan, Nick Cave, the Ramones, Sacco, Vanzetti and Quentin Tarantino. He both loves and hates all of you in a Jesus kinda way.
Portland,
Oregon's Musician,
poet, Zen
enlightenment Warning From The Emperor: His (_(_)////////D devours 1d4 adventurers every round
Drunken leader of the Empire's Third Army Regiment, better known as the ENE Death Squads. Called a "child prodigy" almost from birth, Jacob Doom was reading at 3 and doing complex mathematical equations at 4. What happened next is left up to interpretation. He spent his formative years making good grades and flying through accelerated classes, but around the 7th grade he became a teacher’s worst nightmare. Jacob started asking too many questions, getting bad grades and developed a bad attitude, he grew facial hair, started getting into bloody fights and even spawned a school wide protest on the high school lawn during a free speech debacle that occurred because he dared wear a Marilyn Manson t-shirt at a puritanical Midwestern school. Every afternoon was spent in detention with a former drill sergeant turned history teacher who urged Mr. Doom to pick his battles wisely and to keep a journal of his crazy life. Like many gifted students bogged down by the American corporate public school system, Doom dropped out of high school on his 16th birthday and started writing. After eight years, millions of words, hundreds of trash canned works and spending 5 years earning an Associate’s Degree in English; Doom is now 24 and working diligently for the ENE, playing bass in an experimental drum and bass band symbolically named Drop Devil on 6/6/06 and spending his weekends cooking steaks for the drunken obese masses. [Note from the Emperor: those aren't COW steaks kids.]
Christopher Allan Death currently resides in the concrete jungle of Northern Colorado. His favorite pastimes include reading obscure poetry and listening to old school punk music, two trends that will most likely lead to his unnatural (and untimely) demise. Like most upcoming (if not overlooked) horror writers, he grew up reading the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, Christopher Smart, H.P. Lovecraft, and Bram Stoker. Christopher has published fiction in Worlds of Wonder, Night To Dawn, Shallow Graves Magazine, The Ethereal Gazette, 7th Dimension Magazine, Sein und Werden, Phobia Magazine, and Bits of the Dead (Coscom Entertainment), among others. His first novella, “Welcome to Wonderland” was completed in late 2007, and has been accepted for publication by Lyrical Press, Inc. Though not a giant squirrel, he enjoys sleeping outside and shitting on unsuspecting cars from telephone poles. If you've seen him in your neighborhood, please call the police and/or your local animal shelter. He doesn't have a history of violence, but bright lights and fast-moving objects spook him.
Jesse Lindsay - The SinSlave I'm a freelance artist and designer, and I currently living Portland. I got my start designing tattoos and selling drawings to small shops as a kid, as I ran out of local shops in the small town I lived in, I went to the largest town past it, then the next, with no planning, no money and nothing that didn't fit in to a back pack. I made it from Missouri to New Orleans and eventually to here in Portland. In that time, my personal projects have ranged from paintings to short films, photography, urban exploration, animation, sculpting and much more. Collaboratively I have worked with musicians around the world as well as many stage shows and productions in Seattle with various friends, shows and bands making costumes, stage props, videos and promotional material. Aside from the obvious, I derive a lot of my inspiration from music, reading, dreams and research in to the mechanics of things. If I wasn't and artist, I'd want to be a psychologist or maybe an Asian physicist...or something.
The Succubi Keeping insolent peasants in line, defeating enemy forces, enslaving the competition.
In my dreams, there is a girl on the other side of the mirror on the ground drawing my sigils backwards trying to rewind me to my undoing. Sometimes, I would see her a reflection in the balcony doors. I almost ran into her in New York City in a Red Kimono. I've seen her in Stockerstrasse station getting on the seven tram. She was walking by the promenade in Frank Kitts Park. Why? I wouldn't know. I wasn't there. I sometimes wonder if she, too is going to live forever. But, I never wonder when I'll see her again.
I
am the one standing aside the Emperor..his most trusted confidant of all
timez. I am the one who will decide your fate, whether or not you shall
succeed in this battle in which we are all fighting. I am The Queen..The
Queen of all you Hookerz..I am also known as Unbreakable Tinkerbell. I
did not acquire these titlez by coincidence. Itz in my blood, just as
it is in my power to make or break you as I so choose. If you impress
me, and thatz a big "IF", I shall whisper to the Emperor of
your good fortune and proceedingz will occur for you to entertain us in
our golden pyramid in the sky. If you are one of the many misfortunate
peasantz to displease me..you will quickly be dealt with in the manner
in which only The Queen truly knowz-- horrorz at the end of the abyss.
Close your eyez child and listen to your breath in the darkness. Feel
your heartbeat quicken and then fade as I take your last breath from you..
NOTE: Currently accepting applications. Preferences towards those with dark magic powers, necromancy, seeing the future, etc. Must be proficient with melee weapons [katana, flail, battle axe, etc].
The Militia Seeking punks, rebels, ogres, orcs, goblins, infernals, wyrmlings, fallen paladins, and other such entities with skills in combat, torture, explosives, etc. . |
||||
|
|
|
|
|
The
General
Minister
of Diplomacy & Public Relations
Christopher
Allan Death
SQL*
[Lady Of The Pit] 